Men behave like this because we don't need someone else to tell us that our hair cut is nice or not to feel confident or not. We don't need someone else's opinion to feel validated. If you like my haircut, that's fine little gay man. If you don't like my haircut you can go fuck yourself. We don't give a shit.  I don't need anyone's approval to feel like I made a good choice or not. I don't have the need to have people say that I'm beautiful or handsome, I don't need their attention or to feel accepted by them. I am a man. I'm my own man.

A man's haircut costs much less than a woman's too.

Men have their priorities straight. We don't fuss about stupid little things like hair cuts unless some guy looks defaced or something, in which case we'll tell him that he sucks, just in case he didn't know and so he won't do it again and ruin our visual landscape at work. Men take care of what is essential for survival. We don't spend our time buying ten thousand pairs of shoes, pants, purses, and wallets we don't need just because the price was reduced in store. Men have 2 pairs of shoes and 2 pairs of boots at most strictly for practical purposes. If women didn't need us to have nice shoes, we would have 1 pair of shoes we replace only whenever they are too worn out. That is why women are always broke and we have to pay for their stuff, they buy too much crap.

Men buy only what we need so we can save to buy more beer, go see more movies, go see more car races, grab more stripper's boobies, and make bigger barbecue parties. These are the priorities in life in order to make life livable. These are the things that are important to be happy in life. The rest is unimportant.

A man's haircut is not a competition against other men. Men don't compete with other men with hairdos like women do. We compete in real competitions by using our own skill, not the hairdresser's.

This is the beauty of a man's haircut. The men don't give a fuck about it and by consequence life is peaceful without useless comments.

After having received a tremendous amount of bribe money from our employee of the month, we had no choice but to feel compelled to bring you... well.. the employee of the month for March 2003: Josh!!!! Hurray!!!!!! Way to go Josh!!!!! You da man (with the money)!!!!!!!! (You're still not invited to party with us Chicken or Fish executives, but thanks for the money)

Josh has been with us since before the creation of Chicken or Fish and has always been an awful employee, but we always enjoyed bitch-slapping him around every day for our own ridiculous gratuitous pleasure, so that's why he's still with us. (The picture is good because there are no apparent first marks in his face, therefore no way to incriminate us. The bitch-slapping clause is in his contract anyways, so he doesn't even have any legal recourse if he even tried)

We wish continued lack of success for Josh and more long years of faithful senseless bending over for us at Chicken or Fish.

As for the bitch-slapping, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? So it's all for your own good after all. Fucking freak.

This is the ass of a cat.

There is no subtlety in the picture that would suggest a secret hidden joke. This is all you're getting.

This is the ass of a cat. Nothing to figure out, no puzzle. This is it. Enjoy it. Revel in it. Soak it in.

This is the ass of a cat.

Get these while they are still available, our exclusive collection of Borg designed furniture set!

Don't miss your chance as this is a Chicken or Fish exclusive, because everything everybody sells now has to be exclusive, and same thing goes for us.

Have faith in our design and production facilities. All furniture is designed and built by the Borg. Believe us as we tell you that we use this furniture ourselves and will never go back to what we have before.

Be assimilated like us. Don't be an outsider. You can join the collective of assimilatees who attained absolute coolness by owning Chicken or Fish exclusive Borg designed furniture set!

Even Ikea doesn't have anything remotely as cool as this! Because you know this, you have to buy now!

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FANTASY FOR ADULT MOVIE A SMASH
GREATLY BENEFITS FROM MASS-PRODUCTION EFFECTS

Hollywood. Fl - (Latulippe Press). The just released Peter Jackson hit movie The Lord of The Rings is expected to generate billions of additional revenues in well-thought of merchandising and side-innovations. But what weren't expected were the greedy intentions of other Hollywood producers. Benefiting from the massive 170 million dollar production, adult-movie producer Michael Bernstein released yesterday his 3-hour special "Lord of the Cock-ring".

The three-hour movie pictures characters from Jackson's movie, with slight alterations. Longstanding character Bilbo the Hobbit is replaced by Dildo the Bobbit, Frodo by FlowBlow, Sam Gangee by Sam Gangbang, MeriadocBrandybuck by ForaMereFuck Bring-aBuck or just Fucky, Peregrin Took by Buttfuck Crook, Gandalf the Grey by Grandfag the Gay, along with Sodomir,Legofgrass, Elrandy, Argh-groin, Kinkli, Arghwhen, and Fagadriel, the Queen of Elvish transvestites. The evil parts included characters like So-Long, Semen, the 9 Crabswraiths, and an army of Dorks.

The story begins with Dildo feverishly vibrating for he's preparing a goodbye party, organized in part with the help of Grandfag the Gay and FlowBlow. In a last show of Dildo's power, he disappears within the crowd, going ahhhhhhhhhh! After finishing his business with Dildo, Grandfag the Gay leaves to attend other business in darker places, leaving FlowBlow to experiment with his friends, Gangbang, Bringabuck and Buttfuck. When, 6 months later Grandfag the Gay comes back with dark secrets, he sends the four Bobbits to bring a magical Cock-ring and have it destroyed in the Yeast Infection of Doom.

With the 9 Crabswraiths in hot pursuit on their ass, our gay wizard and his four Bobbits try to run as fast as their small dicks make it possible, but the 9 Crabswraiths are riding them hard. The A-team finally makes it to Rivendell, where the Great Council awaits them for a great fuckfest, with Dwarven and Elvish sex on the hit list. After seeing how FlowBlow's dick disappeared after wearing the Cock-ring, they all agreed to form a team, and focused their heads in the Yeast Infection of Doom. War-heroes such as Legofgrass, Aragroin, Kinkli and Sodomir join the group to form the Yellowshit of the Cock-ring.

In the meantime, Semen, the evil Sorcerer, was in the process of breeding his own army of sex-depraved dorks, in the hardcore of this planet, during the greatest gangbang Middle-Earth has ever seen. He's raising an army to retrieve the magical Cock-ring for his Evil pimp So-Long, the Cock-ring-master, trapped in the Yeast Infection of  Doom.

In another scene, our first party seeks refuge in the enchanted Goldenshower Woods, where they meet with Arghwhen and Fagadriel, and for the whole night are introduced to new holes of the Elven kind, and in the morning refreshing themselves under the Goldenshower Wood magical rain to leave for their intended business.

Before the end of the adventure Grandfag the Gay will fall in front of a BallsofRock, a fiery demon specialized in torture and sadomasochism; Sodomir falling before the Dork Master; and our team separating when FlowBlow admits he can't live without Gangbang, with the teams going on their separate ways. The movie ends with expectations of great fuckfests to cum to, hardcore violence and heavy shit.

The next installment, called "Lord of the Cock-ring: The Two Towers of shit" will be in video for next year, just in time to coincide with the release of Peter Jackson's second part of the Lord of the Rings.

By reporter Test Dummy.

Jean-Claude VanDame est aware de ça. Il témoigne:
"On se fait crosser!"

"Oui alors ecoute-moi, BURP ! Si vraiment tu veux te rappeler des souvenirs de ton perroquet, entre penser et dire, il y a un monde de différence et c'est une sensation réelle qui se produit si on veut ! Et là, vraiment, j'essaie de tout coeur de donner la plus belle réponse de la terre!"

Merci Jean-Claude. T'es inutile, osti de gelé.