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www.FuckingTech.com Exists for you to send your bad experiences with fucking technology. Just vent. Blast that fucking tech. |
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The circle of life is complete.
We now know the stories we have wondered about since watching the first Star Wars installments when we were kids.
We are now complete, we can now die peaceful geek deaths.
This one is a quasi total braingasm of special effects and depictions of various worlds, no matter how brief they may be. Just like the other Star Wars episodes, this one follows the tradition of infinite details all over the place and everywhere. I love the CG details it geeks me out.
Go see it, then live the rest of your life in total peace. Be complete.
The best thing about Episode 3 is that we see a sequence with Jar Jar Binks where he doesn't speak. Totally awesome. |
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Here we go with another BraveHeart rip off, Kingdom of Heaven.
It was OK, but after BraveHeart it is hard to really get into the characters, feel for them and be part of the story. One thing that didn't help was the shitty sound at the AMC 22 in Montreal. It seemed they only had front speakers working for this one, no surround or super 3D digital full cool sound system. And the sound was too loud, it was hurting my ears.
Guys at the entrance were checking if we had cell phones and cameras. They asked to take out our cell phones to check if they could take pictures and made sure they were off. I didn't tell them I had my cell phone and my digital camera. I don't need to be treated like a retard. And, they didn't question twice since I had the baby in a basket. Babies are good to give you quick access. :)
Kingdom of Heaven was OK, but nothing innovative, no innovative combat scenes or anything, it's always the same crap we've seen since BraveHeart. We always some guy fucking up the people's program, some guy rises up from nothing to become a hero and manages somehwere to insert an inspiring speech to fire up the troops before going into combat. Woopadeedooo.... seen that 10 times since BraveHeart. Please give me something original.
I found a few unrealistic things in the movie. First, the blacksmith pushes a guy into a fire, the guy is burning for 10 seconds and the blacksmith rips off the cross from the burning guy's neck and somehow burns his hand with the cross. The cross was not even in the fire that much, it was on the guy's neck.
Then the blacksmith is on a boat, the boat tips over and breaks up in a storm. Next scene we see Orlando Bloom waking up on the deck of the shipwrecked part of the ship that is now on the beach, but the guy still has his backpack with his sword right next to him. Amazing that all his shit did not get lost in the water when the ship tipped over and broke and he lost consciousness/went to sleep.
And there is a scene rip-off from the Lord of the Rings where an army sieges a walled city. Seen that before just not too long ago. Come on.. just rehashed shit.
Anyways, nothing fantastic to see here, you can skip this one. |
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| After wondering if these guys were dead, Trey Parker and Matt Stone are still kicking monster ass. Team America: World Police was just as funny as South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut. Team America: World Police made me cry of laughter. People, that's some funny shit.
I still wonder if some Americans will understand the critical sarcastic point made about the murderous U.S.A. foreign policies. I think some will never understand the blissful ignorance in which they live in.
This movie ridicules the overused Hollywood cinematic clichés, and they are all over the place and therefore enhances my love for the movie. In a way it shows how used we've become to the classic deadbeat cinematic structure of crappy big budget Hollywood movies. Hollywood is dead.
What is amazing is the awesome puppetry work used in a comedic fashion with special effects I have not seen been done before with puppets. What adds to the mastery of the puppet art in this movie is how they make fun of the puppetry art by using puppetry itself. It's brilliant and hilarious.
Get the soundtrack. Just get the soundtrack. |
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| Did you see that Nestle commercial where the guy just bought a chocolate-cone ice cream thing to then have it taken away by a woman and the guy does nothing? I did, and it pissed me off. It is clear that whoever made this commercial is pushing to make us believe that men are fucking pussies. I contend that this commercial is deceptive and does
not represent reality in an attempt to subvert our culture for a sinister purpose.
If this commercial was based on reality, the commercial would have gone like this:
The girl comes up to the guy who has a fresh chocolate-cone ice cream. She takes the ice cream from the guy then finds herself rummaging for her teeth on the ground so much the guy smacked her so hard.
This scenario is much more realistic and in my opinion much more fucking funny that watching a fucking pussy being abused by a woman.
If we had truly interactive TV, this is how the commercial would have played out:
The woman walks up to the guy, takes his brand new chocolate-cone ice cream cone. The audience sees my fist flying straight into the woman's mouth, followed by my hand giving the ice cream cone back to the guy. Then you would see the guy trying to pull his leg out of his ass so he can go find his teeth and ice cream that are rammed up his rectum, because I smashed in his head in for letting himself be abused by a woman. Since TV would be interactive, the next time
the commercial is aired, the woman goes in the store, buys 2 chocolate-cone ice creams to give to the guy and his best friend that are waiting out side and shuts the fuck up, because the woman enjoys the multiple orgasms these two guys provide her every night.
I believe it is every man's duty to kick you fellow man's ass when he does not use his gift of being physically stronger to assert respect for himself and his fellow man. Have you kicked your fellow man into shape today? Do it. |
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| Okay people, let's explore the similarities between Independence Day and Day After Tomorrow. After all, they are both made by the same guy, Roland Emmerich, so there are bound to be similarities between these movies, as I have observed myself. ■ In both movies we have something threatening the whole planet.
■ In both movies we have one brilliant guy figuring out the whole master plan of the threat.
■ In both movies we have one brilliant guy trying to convince the president that he has the answer against this global threat.
■ In both movies we have a deep relationship between a father and son, one or both are scientific geeks.
■ In both movies we have cars flying all over the place between buildings, caused by some massive wave of something.
■ In both movies we have a shot of the White House in foreground of whatever global threat the movie deals with.
■ In both movies we have family members desperately trying to reach each other.
■ In both movies we have people atop skyscrapers waving at ships over them.
■ In both movies we have some kind of scientific outpost getting strange readings, which is headed by some actor made famous by a previous movie in a non-human character.
■ In both movies we have massive evacuations.
■ In both movies we have fire in the sky.
■ In both movies we have cities being destroyed.
■ In both movies we have people hiding to protect themselves from the global threat.
■ In both movies we have nations uniting because of the global threat.
■ In both movies we have catastrophes being reported all over the planet before we get into the thick of the movie.
■ In both movies the global threat comes from the sky.
■ In both movies we have an exploration of a catastrophic situation that we have all thought about that comes sooner than expected.
■ In both movies the president must leave the White House and relocate.
If you have any more, please send them in with the "discuss in forum" link.
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Chicken
or FIsh is proud to present to you an all-out full
review of 2 Fast 2 Furious, complete with an
overview of some of the scenes. Maybe this movie
should have been called "2 times 2 many".
Let's make this clear up front: if you have a
pink car, a bright orange car or a car with blue
stripes running from front to back of it, it means
that your car represents your personality and
therefore makes you oh so gay. Do not fight it, do
not try to deny it, you are just gay. Another
adequate title for this movie could have been "2
furiously 2 gay: gaymobile tailpipes unite".
Come-on, really! Why the fuck would you paint
your car pink unless you were totally irreversibly
gay? You don't see this in the movie because they
didn't want to come across as "too gay", but in the
original script they had dildo-shifters in their
cars and they cut one scene where someone wants to
talk the cop but he is too busy in his car ramming
his dildo-shifter up and down in his ass like a
madman screaming "yeah baby, give it to me, YEAH,
YEAH! YEAH!... oh sorry... I was just having a
little sex with my car. I LOVE my car you know.
That's why I cried when they blew my first gaymobile
in the first movie". In this scene the car was
running also so the dildo-shifter was vibrating,
providing more sensation. The dildo was black also
and fucking huge, so at least we know this cop makes
silent farts and can sneak up on bad guys more
easilly.
This movie is so gay, that all the girls in it
are either drag queens or transsexuals. There is not
one original woman in this movie. Do not be fooled!
When someone falls in love with a woman, it's
actually a guy and they just want you to think it's
a nice and sweet hetero love scene. You have to
realize that both characters blow cock like
professionals. Actually they had a lot of practice
on those dildo-shifters. Look at the poster; the
black guys looks like they have been sucking off
dildo-shifters like motherfuckers. Maybe each
other's dicks.. who knows.
This
is a scene where the characters are demonstrating
that they are not man enough to drive their
gaymobiles because they are are afraid of speed, so
they just hang around in front of their cars in the
middle of the street, just waiting to get rammed up
the ass by some cop cars.
Look at these guys. The text in the image has
been added by the producers as to explain the
characters a bit just goes to prove what I am saying
about this movie beeing so gay. The first guy on the
left is a homo, it is written so. The second guy
from the left has long hair, has boob implants and
is wearing a sexy top to show off his boobs. That is
way beyond gay. The other guys have small penises,
so we know for sure that these are not the guys
responsible for giving the black guys those
stretchable cock-smoking lips.
What kind of men wear clothes that match the
color of their cars? That's right! Only gay men do
that.
Look at them standing in the street. They sure
look tough. "Hey look, we have gaymobiles and we can
press on the gas pedal, so we are acting tough. Wee
roolz!"
This
is a production scene when they were looking for
cast members with gaymobiles to play in the movie.
Everybody laughed when they mentioned what the
movie is about. The producers had to constantly tell
the people that it wasn't a gay movie. The people
were not buying it.
When they told people they were from
San-Francisco there was no way to convince everybody
that the movie was not gay.
It's also hard to be taken seriously when you
have blue stripes on your car.
The big guy in the picture seemed to dig it
though. And they gave him a backstage job of
cock-massaging all the actors so have them shoot-off
a load before they shot the movie scenes.
But the people really didn't believe what kind of
movie they were making
This
is a shot in the movie when they just fucking freak
out and gun it and just race in the streets for no
fucking reason at all. They fucking lose it and just
run off like sissy girls at the first sight of cops.
This is one of the scenes that the people like to
watch because the cars appear to go really fast when
in reality it would be impossible to shoot them at
high speed. This is just a Hollywood trick to get
people excited about gaymobiles that can't even go
fast in the first place.
Maybe nice hard nightsticks are too much for
them. Maybe they prefer nice rubbery soft
dildo-shifters.
This scene depicts drag queens in action. Get it?
Drag queens? That's fucking hilarious and if this
movie is not fucking gay, it's just fucking gay.
The truck is not in this race. It's very sad to
see what they done to the Dodge Ram pickup truck. It
is so ugly and gay.
This scene depicts how fuel efficient cars have
been transformed into gas guzzling monsters that
can't run 2 miles without
refueling.
This
car was hit by a fagobomb destined to seek and
destroy fagmobiles. This kind of weapon is used by
heterosexual street racing gangs with cars equipped
with gaydars, to eliminate all the gay cars that are
ruining the scenery by driving around with their
ugly colors.
This accident could have been prevented if this
gaymobile was equiped with a gaydar detector.
This goes to show that if you are gay in a gay
car, you are are a fucking target.
In this scene the guy is removing the fagobomb
from this yellow shit while thinking: "I have to
take it off gently... it's so fucking cookey and
kinky that just HAVE to ram this up my ass and see
how it feels. I can't wait to try this at home.
Maybe I can replace my dildo-shifter with this kinky
robotic hamster." In a later scene one of the
she-males has to pull it out of his ass for him, but
can't so she/he/whatever races him to the gay
hospital in her/his/whatever's gaymobile in a death
defying stunt-driving course through watermelons and
guys holding glass panes across the street. Finally
all this racing was all for nothing as the fagobomb
explodes and kills the fag and all other fags in the
hospital. This guy wanted to die if he was wearing a
red shirt.
The fagobomb was supposed to hit the driver, but
he had 2 other fag friends making out in the back of
the car, so that's why it hit the back door.
Even
the actors cannot even remember one line of retard
text. Look at this. "NAWS"... fucking retard. That's
what you get when you hire mad asian neo-nazi gay
skin-heads.
All in all, here is our verdict: it's gay. The
only good thing about this movie is when they crush
a real Mustang with a van. This is one less crappy
Mustang on the planet and it is very satisfying to
see it mutilated so badly.
If you don't enjoy gay cars,
don't go see this movie.
If you enjoy gay cars, don't go see this movie
because we would not want to encourage such behavior
in people who are already fucked up in the head and
up the ass.
By the way, we didn't see the movie, but doesn't
make it any less gay.
Comments on MontrealRacing.com |
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| The Matrix movie has a
reference to the city of Zion, which is, according to a few
religions, the heavenly city or the paradise. I think there
might be another subtle meaning for the city of Zion in The
Matrix movie, a meaning other than the paradise city.
Zion is considered to be the heavenly
Jerusalem, the paradise city in Judaism and Christianity.
Since the beginning of the century the Zionists have claimed
their return to the "promised land", that they are to
reclaim the land that was once theirs, once the land of the
Israelites that was later taken from them and inhabited by
Arabs for centuries, which is now known as Palestine.
In the last century the Zionists
have managed to invade Palestine from the inside, spreading
and overtaking from inside Palestine to create the Israel
state in 1948, the name propably inspired by the Israelites,
and further expand Israel's borders to eventually take
possession of Jerusalem, or Zion, the paradise city, the
promised land.
The Zionists probably have named
their movement based on the name of Zion, the paradise city
and making the Zionists' mission to reclaim Zion. Hence, if
you are a Zionist, you want to reclaim Zion.
In The Matrix movie the humans have
been robbed of their life, their consciousness, their
planet, their land. In the movie they are the people of
Zion, in a sense they are the Zionists, they have become the
people who are fighting from within the invaded territory,
from within the core of the Earth, to reclaim what was once
theirs, to take back the Earth. Like the real world Zionists
they are re-invading their former territory from the inside.
In The Matrix the humans become
Zionists that learn how to manipulate and twist The Matrix
to their advantage, to serve their fight for their former
territory. If we take the Matrix and compare it to the
Matrix that the Zionists have created for our society, the
reality does not compare well with The Matrix movie. In the
movie it is the machines who create the Matrix, as in our
case in the real world it is the Zionists who have created
the matrix in which we live in, so the Zionists do not
compare well in this manner to the humans in The Matrix who
are the actual victims of the Matrix, although they can
manipulate it to serve their purpose to a certain extent,
just like the real world Zionists.
From what little I have understood
about The Matrix Reloaded, I think it deals more about Zion
that in the first movie.
What I have brought forth may be a
subtle idea by the movie creators or simply a coincidence,
but an interesting comparison nonetheless. It is interesting
when you examine the Matrix humans and the mix of
similarities and contraries compared to the real world
Zionists.
I have my ticket to go see The
Matrix Reloaded the day before it comes out. I truly have a
good friend, and hope I will enjoy this second Matrix movie.
The first one rocked my shit. |
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| Last week-end
I watched two movies on DVD and both of them did not have
any special features like deleted scenes, behind the scenes,
bloopers, effects creation and all that cool stuff.
Considering that these studios have lots of cash and there
there is a good number of people looking for jobs, it is
unacceptable that they come out with DVD movies that do not
have any special features. It is even more unacceptable to
come out with a new movie and not have any DVD special
features at all. It's understandable if you take an old
movie and just convert it to DVD, but even then, there has
to be some interesting shit lying around the studios that
you can slap on that DVD to make it more interesting than if
it was just the plain movie.
I saw something on The Screen Savers about The Guy that
makes DVD menus and stuff. Come on! There has to be more
people that just this guy creating these DVD menus! Maybe
there are too many DVD movies coming out, that he's botching
up the job and not putting any extra features on the DVD?
They really have to start putting more time in the
development of DVD special features.
I watched The Cable Guy and it didn't have any special
features on the DVD, and that's relatively O.K. since it's
an older movie. However, when I watched Maid in Manhattan
there were absolutely no special features and this movie has
no excuse, being a movie that came out in 2002. (I know what
you are thinking you dipshits. If you think that I rented
Maid in Manhattan of my own sole free will, go fuck
yourselves. I would have rented Reign of Fire instead, or
some other groovier movie that was either intellectually
stimulating or had limbs flying all over the place.) |
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Every
time I see Guinness World Records Primetime I wonder what
the fuck kind of records they are showing. They show
senseless crap that have nothing to do with world records.
I watch the show tonight and there is this guy that his
record is to kiss as many cobras on the head as he can while
they are on the loose. That's not a fucking record, that's a
stupid stunt. The king cobra he kissed can kill an elephant
with it's poison (How the fuck is a king cobra going to eat
an elephant anyways?). Guess what the record is: his record
is to kiss 11 cobras on the head one after the other. That's
not a fucking record, that's bullshit.
I remember when I was younger, Guinness World Records
used to be the guy who jumped over the most cars with his
bike, the guy who crosses the longest distance on a
tightrope, the guy who jumps the farthest, the guy who swam
the farthest... shit like that. Now the records are stupid
crap like people popping their eyes out of their sockets,
eating the most watches, growing finger nails for 10 years,
eating the most worms, shooting popcorn the farthest from
out of your tear ducts, cricket launching distances,
throwing things with the stretched skin of your earlobes,
lifting car batteries with your nipples, stretching your
skin and a plethora of other freaks of nature who don't know
what to do with their time.
What the fuck has world records become? They have become
shit because every damned world record imaginable has been
done, so now they are taking in the freak shows just to get
ratings on the TV to have some publicity. What they are
showing now on TV is crap and has nothing to do with world
records. It's a freak show contest, the one who freaks out
the audience the most.
The quality of the records has been lost. Fucking freaks. |
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WARNING,
THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THE FOLLOWING UPDATE, SO DON'T READ IT
IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN STAR TREK NEMESIS AND DO NOT WISH TO
HAVE YOUR FUN SPOILED BEFORE YOU SEE IT. If you come and
complain to me that I ruined movie punches for you, I will
have to break your face.The
Enterprise crew is getting too old. I guess the fountain of
youth in Insurrection wasn't working too good.
I have a problem with the Romulan
council. They seemed somewhat out of character from what I
have come to understand of Romulans. The Romulans I know are
usually suspicious and devious, and they did not notice
someone leaving a personal belonging on the table and not
suspecting some kind of treason. And they were very slow to
react to get out. Because they were slow, they deserved to
die. But that seemed out of character, especially with the
being bright red and quite big.
I think Picard found a new toy. I
think I'd like to have the Argo also. :)
The writers are used to cramming an
episode into 45 minutes, they are not used to expanding a
story to include more material in a 2 hour movie, especially
with an original plot of a Picard Clone which was very nice
and could have been expanded very
nicely. They could have done more with this Picard clone
thing. They had the time. Anything else around was this
clone story was not as important. They could have built it
to be another Kirk/Kahn match. A little bit was missing.
When Data and Picard escape the
scimitar they use a Scorpion Class ship. There is something
odd in this. It's a non-human ship with non-humans and
somehow the ship class is "Scorpion", which is an Earth
animal. Did I miss something? Or are our aliens not proud
enough of their homeland that they now use animal names from
other cultures? Or are those ships actually human made?
When the Enterprise rams into the
Scimitar, the whole front of the ship becomes crumpled. When
this happens, the diagnostics panel should have adapted to
the crumpled ship. Instead, the diagnostics panel still drew
the ship as fully intact. In that century you would think
that they would have more adaptive software.
When the aliens beam on board the
Enterprise, there is an intruder alert alarm. When Picard
beams over to the Scimitar, there isn't any intruder alarm,
and that ship seemed more advanced than the Enterprise.
When the Viceroy beams aboard
Enterprise and Riker confronts him, that bit kinda sucked.
It really looked like a lame sideline to the story. A more
original fight would have helped a lot.
Data dies. Wow. What a blow. I'm
still assimilating this. If you like Star Trek, Data has to
be the top all time favourite character. The Data character
was exhausted with the series and good finale in First
Contact and not much more character development possible
with any subsequent movies, so it was a good move to kill
off this character. Plus, things got a bit too easy with
Data around, because he just rocks.
Now, how the movie would have been
better. The bad guys should really have had a chance to at
least blow up one ship, and one planet. Give me action. Give
me some effects, a chance to get my Roddenberry vision
shaken up a bit. This would have added to the credibility of
the bad guy. We all know what Picard and his crew can do
with their ship. They should have shown us what the bad guy
can do and would have added to some tension and suspense. It
wouldn't have been so corny like that.
And that ship was fucking awesome.
:) |
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